Member Since: 1998

Nicknames:
"Uncle Ed"

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Birth Date:
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Member Name: Do you really care what I named my "Member"?

Sex: yes, please

Marital Status: Currently dating my right hand until a better man comes along.

Hobbies: Lying on personal profiles, fashioning obscene ball animals, and dryer lint crafts.

Computers: Vintage Chinese abacus.

Occupation: Organ grinder. (please see "Marital Status")

Personal Quote: I am a gentleman, so sex prior to the 5th date will never happen, but if you're nice, (read: "if you have enormous boobs") we can have the 5th date first.

Goal in life: Wants to dump himself in the Atlantic to serve as an artificial reef for fish.

Interesting experience: I seem to remember the guy who was driving the canoe I was sitting in at the Floating Market in Bangkok saying something to the effect of it being your birthday but then I passed out. When I woke up, the guy was gone, but his brother was there trying to pick my pocket and sell me a bamboo suitcase full of small coconuts which had been carved to look like chubby monkeys, wearing John Lennon glasses and smoking pipes.