This week's Survivor Series "loser" is none other than our fearless leader, the venerable Red Stool/Wood/Splinter. Though to his credit, Stoolie remained in Dewey for a near record-breaking 7 days and 6 nights (surpassed only by Dirty Ed's longevity), it seems this only offered him more opportunities to score points in this week's competition. The following litany/chronology of sins, screw-ups and overall patheticism (a new word invented just for this!) validate the voting result:

Binge Smoking:
Despite massive internal bleeding and a collapsed lung, Stoolie continued to mooch cigarettes off every house member, including the semi-employed WB Steve, to completely subsidize the habit he denies having.

Selfishness:
Red Woody made a valiant attempt to party with two groups of hard-core boozers this week (5 Bayside and his other friend's "bachelor party"). After hanging in there most of the week, Stoolie lost his cool Monday AM and left his friend Mark in the lurch for a ride to the airport rather than wait for him to wake up. This after having caused innumerable so-called "friends" of his to wait for his drunken ass when bumming a ride over the years.

Documentation:
For total failure to get any "amateur lesbian" moments for GAACK !! to post on the website despite his claim to have taken several rolls of photos (of his thumb).

Work:
Stoolie, though oncall at work for the week, brazenly drove to Dewey knowing full well that his pager was out of it's operational area. He then badgered the other, more responsible members of the house who were unable to stay down the entire week for having to work. He griped about listening to Pus's excuses for not making it down during the week and he called Gaack !! Thursday AM to bother him with idle chit-chat.

Fireworks:
Though it was Independence Day weekend, Joel somehow refrained from getting into any good "Joel/Molly" fights.

Kindness:
Stoolie sacrificed the "cave" so Doogie could pretend to have sex on Tuesday evening. This without so much as a WHIMPER.

The membership, citing these & other "conduct unbecoming" violations, by a majority vote Red Stool/Wood/Splinter, Joel McGee, off the Island for week #7 of the Survivor Series.