Steve Souza, Super-Jello Shot boy, recently took his Super Hero activities OUTSIDE of Dewey Beach to help a puppy found stranded on the road. While he apparently met several people of great importance, and merited news attention, Steve not only declined to give any publicity to 5 Bayside, but also declined to transport the puppy back to 5Bayside, where it could have been put in the blender for mixed drinks as well as possible jello shooters.
Therefore, while normally Steve stands on his Super-Hero pedestal, he LOSES for thinking ONLY of himself while rescuing puppies. He should, however, get credit for refusing to rescue maidens in distress, a true virtue at 5 Bayside !!!!!
The following adventure happened on my way back from Dewey on Sunday and
is reprinted with the permission of the Queen Anne Times.
"5 Bayside Court house member Steve Souza rescued a 10 week old lost
puppy from certain death while driving home from Dewey beach last
weekend. The adorable puppy was walking on the shoulder of route 404,
with no owner in site when Steve put the puppy in the back seat of his
car (see attached picture) and drove around Queen Anne Maryland
(population 176) looking for the puppies owner.
Souza explained, "I was driving around thinking about databases, Java
programming and world peace when I saw the puppy. Chicks dig puppy and
baby rescuers, so I figure what the hell". Souza continued, "I drove
around town and asked about 5 people if they recognized the puppy. They
told me to go to the house with red shudders, as it was the mayors house,
and he might know."
Asked if anyone else in 5 Bayside could have made the rescue Souza
responded, "No, friggin' way! It's not that they don't care about
other living creatures, it's that they are drunk. Don't get me wrong,
not caring is a contributing factor, just not the primary reason". Souza
went on to explain, "They would have been passed out in the car, or
vomiting out the window. I don't even think I could rescue puppies under
those conditions. You know...I always try to be alert. Especially when
around puppies and babies. It's kind of funny, even while at the
Starboard chatting it up with the ladies, I always keep one eye out for a
puppy or baby in danger, and the other on the ladies cleavage. Cleavage
is important, but so are puppies and babies. Some women at the Starboard
think I'm a really horrible conversationalist, but it's not that. I'm
just focusing on my next rescue. "
Souza tried to convince the mayor to keep the puppy as a town mascot.
The mayors wife wanted to keep the puppy, but said that their other dog
would kill it. Souza next encountered Buddy Thomas (picture attached
holding the puppy) and gave him the puppy. When asked what he thought of
Souza, Thomas responded "Souza's an idiot. Listen I'm no fan of
puppies, but I would have taken 100 of them to get Souza the hell out of
Souza left town as quickly as he entered, promising to send the mayor
pictures of the puppy so a "lost puppy" sign could be placed in the town
post office. As Souza drove off I asked the mayor if he had any closing
words and he responded with, "That Steve Souza, sure is one pain in the
ass." Pain in the ass, or a hero for the ages; You decide.
Queen Anne Times"