This week's LOSER is Uncle Ed! Where shall we begin...the list is endless but unlike Uncle Ed, this story will be brief, concise, and will not sound like a broken record:
- For inviting the "FUB's" as his unescorted guests the week prior.
- For showing no loyalty to the 5 Bayside flock and for gossiping like a school girl; disclosing personal information during the week about various members involved in the incident, so that the "FUB's" could attempt to use it in their arsenal of junior high antics.
- For disturbing the peace and harmony which reigns over 5 Bayside by relentlessly repeating and embellishing the same pot-stirring stories that have spanned the last 4 decades of his pathetic little life.
- For not getting his story straight and for constantly berating our little princess Melanie on Friday night about the horrible things that she said to the "FUB's" and why Michelle Anderson doesn't like Melanie, blah, blah, blah...while in fact, our little princess never uttered a word to them.
- For sticking "gay rainbow stickers" from his beloved Rehoboth Beach outings on unsuspecting members and their personal property.
- For his never ending discussions regarding Shirley's attendance as his guest to the biggest event of the season "THE KASOW-MCGEE UNION". Even though his invitation was addressed to "MR. EDWARD ARDERY" and the inside envelope was clearly addressed to "ED", not "ED and SHIRLEY", not "ED and GUEST", not "SHIRLEY", just "ED"............NO GUEST, NO SHIRLEY. For once and for all, will you please SHUT THE HELL UP...Shirley is not an OPTION, she can wait for you in her car. You are flying solo with the rest of us!
So there you have it...for always inviting his parade of oddities to 5 Bayside, gossiping about members, for relentlessly repeating his pot-stirring stories, for mistaking identities, for sticking those freakin' rainbow stickers everywhere, and for lacking social graces we bid a long overdue farewell to UNCLE ETIQUETTE PEDOPHILE...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
UNCLE ED, HAVE YOU NO SHAME? EMILY POST WOULD BE MORTIFIED!